Communiqués from Cowtown

Goodbye Hedonism, Hello Diaper Genie….

There is no Mary Poppins… January 10, 2007

Filed under: Random Rants — nickihem @ 12:54 am

The hunt for a nanny has begun and, I’m sad to say folks, Day One was not without its disappointments and/or complete shocks. As of now, three potential candidates have been shot down, each for particular reasons. In fact, I haven’t even interviewed any of them in person yet, I’ve only managed to have phone or online contact with them. The results are below and believe me, after the first one it just goes downhill from there. I mean like really downhill….  

  • Candidate #1- My very first choice. A student at Ohio State specializing in Early Childhood Education (bonus points there) and with Infant CPR training (double-super bonus) as well experience working at a Catholic Youth Camp for something like 5 summers in a row. Religious (I’m not, but that’s always a good thing in a nanny) kid-loving, has her shit together….I love this girl. The problem? She has no availability. None. At least not during the day from 9-6 like I need someone. Dammit. So after a brief but polite conversation with her, I moved on, crushed for sure, but resolved to find someone like her.

  • Candidate #2-  Looked great on paper… two years of nanny experience with young children…. Wonderful, right? Wasn’t thrilled that in her response she skipped an introduction altogether, opting instead to discuss her rates immediately. I was open though, after all, I figured that since she had experience as a nanny it would be only fair that she lay out her fiscal expectations. The thing is, when I pressed her for more info about the family she worked for before, she remembered something… See, what she forgot to tell me (until we had a phone conversation) was that those young children she was a “nanny” for were her own. In other words (as I asked her, slightly incredulous) she has never worked for a family, but has been a “nanny” to her own children… Yeah, Go flippin’ figure. Instead of asking her if she knew that on earth a nanny was, I simply wished her a good day, but before I could hang up she said, “if it makes any difference, I can bring my two children to your home. It would be great for your young one!” … You’ve got to be kidding me, I thought. The reason I need a nanny is so I can get some work done and seeing as how I work out of a home office, the last thing I need is 3 screaming kids instead of one. (Not that the Bee is a screamer necessarily, but you get the point…) So yeah, that one is certainly out. I think in future ads I’ll have to post a disclaimer with the formal OED definition of nanny. Lord.

  • Candidate #3 – This one just takes the cake…. Law student, 5 years of babysitting and nanny experience, already gave me a resume and list of references (instead of just giving me a casual response to my ad) trained in infant CPR, oldest of 4 children… you name it, this girl had it. Before I decided to give her a call, I thought I’d type her email into the “search by email” function on MySpace, and guess what I found?… Her pictures looked like they had all been taken at bars. One of them had her with most of her chest bared, two fingers in a “V” alongside her mouth with her tongue out. Another featured her touching tongues with a fellow female reveler. A few of her other pics featured her in almost no clothes looking oh-so-slutty for the camera. In her “about me” section she talked about being a “wannabe stripper” and we won’t even discuss her blog…

Needless to say, the hunt continues. I just checked MySpace on a whim but you’d better believe that every nanny gets a thorough checkout that way, indeed. I guess candidate #3 just figured no one but her friends would ever see that…  I guess in this world today it’s damned easy to find out what someone is really like before you hire them.


3 Responses to “There is no Mary Poppins…”

  1. cubicledad Says:

    I shouldn’t laugh should I? I almost feel guilty, except that candidate #2 deserved it!

  2. Sorry that this is going to be such a process, but #2 and #3 make for a good story, if nothing else!

  3. sami Says:

    people who do the V thing are people whom i cant fathom letalone stand. that picture leaves me so raw. it’s like once you do that you are on the dark side! i cant even leave birdie with my mom… its not like i dont want to but milk micromanaging is so hard. sorry i keep replying but its always the same!

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