Communiqués from Cowtown

Goodbye Hedonism, Hello Diaper Genie….

The Bee’s Anything But Thank-ish Thanksgiving Holiday Week Kick-Off November 21, 2007

Filed under: Random Rants — nickihem @ 3:25 am

I think I am just writing this entry because I need to vent. That’s what blogs are for although luckily for you, I’ve generally spared most of that kind of stuff on this one and made it a baby and mama kind of thing…


All last week The Bee had a cold that just wouldn’t quit. We went through countless paper towels, shirt sleeves, Kleenexes, baby wipes—anything cloth-like—wiping an endless stream of snot. “Welcome to parenthood” I was thinking to myself, not realizing what was in store. Had I known I would have cheerily smudged boogers for hours.

So the other night, just as we thought the runny nose was starting to go away and we three were enjoying happy evening playtime in the playroom BAM! The Bee looks jarred for a minute and massive puke, and I mean real live human puke (something I’ve never seen emerge from the Bee; it’s all been that kind gentle spit-up) issued forth. And didn’t stop and didn’t stop and kept right on a’coming. I was freaked out enough by the sight although went immediately into power-mama mode and cleaned it up without a wince but when it kept happening I got panicky and we noticed she looked just awful. When we picked her up it was like holding a rag doll and she would just lay on my shoulder and try every once in a while to look up. She had little dark puffy bags under her eyes and just…just looked like hell. If a baby can. Wait, yes, a baby can. And did.

So it was off to the ER for the clan. We both had baby barf all over our clothes as we sat there with the blanket I am so glad we brought so that it too could get baby barf all over it as well. People started at us. We probably looked like some depraved turn-of-the-century immigrant couple with infant just landed from some 80-hour harrowing overseas journey into some foreign territory; all of us worried, scared and puke-ridden. That’s what we felt like anyway. And felt even more like as we waited for THREE HOURS to be seen by someone (anyone!) wearing a white coat.

Finally we are taken to the another waiting room where the doctor would eventually come see us an lo! And behold, what happens? I start feeling queasy. Not in that “I am surrounded by throw-up and am nervous as hell” kind of way, but in that distinct flu-big kind of way that always somehow takes me back to 2nd grade when I sense it coming on. So yes, off to the bathroom goes mom to toss her cookies. I come back and Bee’s drinking Pedialyte and grinning devilishly at the doctor who is totally taken with her, as are the nurses, all of whom coo and joke with her, much to her great delight.

I am sick as a dog. We leave with the warning to keep her hydrated (HA!) with Pedialyte and only bland foods under threat of having to bring her back for an IV if she doesn’t stay moist. God. So off we go, back home, late at night, me sick and barfing out the car door as we drive home. Lovely.

Oh wait. It gets better.

I am trying to think of a worthy metaphor here. Let’s see…trying to force a baby to drink Pedialyte is like… I don’t know. Pissing in the wind, as cliché as it is, probably sums it up best. We spent hours trying to force it on her, checking her diaper to see if there was pee (a good sign that she’s not dangerously dehydrated) and trying to force yet more of it down her. She hated us for a while. She bit my hand! She gave me a look! It was awful and yes, I cried. All of this while sick. I finally was able to get some sleep and lay down thanks to Hub who stayed home (LOVES YOU!) and now, guess what?

He is sick!!

We are a mess. We are truly a mess.

I put The Bee up in her crib to sleep a little while ago with some formula as usual, hoping like crazy she’ll hold it down. It’s been 24 hours since barf and if all goes well, there’ll be a hefty pee-pee in the morning and life will be grand once again. For her, anyway. I still feel like crap and Ry is a zombie. Every once in a while I hear him groan and heave up there. Terrible.

So, aren’t you just so glad you read this now? Hasn’t it been lovely and full of wonderful imagery that makes you just want to… I don’t know…take a bath in hand sanitizer?

Yes. So now I am finally doing the birthday pictures and then am posting this little story about our past 2 days of complete and total hell.


4 Responses to “The Bee’s Anything But Thank-ish Thanksgiving Holiday Week Kick-Off”

  1. grandma Says:

    Too bad that she shared her illness with the two of you or you would not feel so badly, but hopefully this means you will be spared any repeats this flu season!!

  2. Supermom Says:

    Oh that sounds horrible. Hugs to all of you

  3. Aunt Danielle Says:

    Hey sis, I am sorry you all had the Flu, that sounded awful! I hope all is well now 🙂

    I love you!

  4. Sarah Says:

    I read this post, and I’m sorry, I had to laugh. My husband and I just relived your experience last week. It is a horrible bug going around this year (even up here in Michigan) and my 7 week-old daughter managed to catch it her second (yes, SECOND) day of daycare. As a new mommy, I am really enjoying your blog (T. Wray referred me). Keep it up!!

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